


Anchor Me

by phichit (eexiee)



Series: Oh, What a Feeling [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 21:25:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8862685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eexiee/pseuds/phichit
Summary: JJ doesn't know what to do after his short program, but calling Seunggil helps.





	

**Author's Note:**

> !!! SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 11 !!! SPOILERS !!!
> 
> This btw is a universe in which fiancee doesn't exist, not because I dislike her, but because I would really rather JJ not cheat on her. He's not a cheater. So yeah fiancee (whose name is apparently Isabella Yang??) is non-existent in this verse.

JJ’s entire body is still shaking. He smiled through the disappointment, the _shame._ He had to put on a strong face for his supporters. He doesn’t want them to worry or think something’s wrong. He wants them to see that he’s just having an off day and that he’ll be back on top during the free skate. He wants to believe that too. But now that JJ is alone in a bathroom stall at the rink, he’s terrified. He’s realized that he’s not a king, not a hero, not a rock star. He’s a skater who can fall and under-rotate and freak out just like the rest of them, except none of them actually did any of that. He’s beneath the rest of them now and that’s so, so scary. He half wishes he could just go home and cry in his bed instead of skating the free skate. He doesn’t want to let anyone down, including himself, more than he already has.

His phone buzzes and he looks at it out of reflex.

> Seunggil  
>  It’s okay. You’re not beneath anyone.  
>  9:18pm

JJ can’t help it. Tears come tumbling down his cheeks. Of course Seunggil knows how JJ feels right now. Of course he knows just what JJ needs to hear. Seunggil, of all people. Of course.

> JJ  
>  Can I call you?  
>  9:18pm

 

> Seunggil  
>  Yes  
>  9:18pm

Seunggil picks up on the first ring. “JJ…” he begins slowly.

“Seunggil, what happened?” JJ weeps. “I just - suddenly I saw Otabek, I saw Yuri, I saw them all. They were all glaring at me like they were better than me. And I guess they’re right. I’ve been delusional this whole time and -”

“You’re wrong,” Seunggil says. “You deserved gold in your Grand Prix assignments. Both of them. You skated better than anyone out there and you won.”

“But not this time.”

“No. But that’s okay.”

“No it’s not!” JJ cries, frustrated. “There are people out there, so many people, expecting me to win gold. My coaches, my parents, my fans...I promised you I’d win gold.”

“You don’t need to win gold for me,” Seunggil says, “or anyone else. You don’t _need_ to win gold. God is not going to smite you if you don’t win gold. It’s okay. You’re still a world-class skater and you should be proud of what you’ve done. Doesn’t matter how you place.”

JJ sniffles. “I want to win gold.”

“So does everyone else. And even if you want it more than any of them, sometimes you just have a bad day. But it doesn’t mean you’re worse.”

“Seunggil…”

“They all cheered for you. Didn’t you see that? They’re all supporting you. And it’s not one of those situations in which they only care about who wins. These are people who genuinely will support you no matter how you skate. JJ, it’s _okay._ It’s okay not to be the best. It’s okay. Everyone will still love you no matter what. I’ll still be here for you.”

JJ laughs through the tears still brimming in his eyes. “I was worried you’d leave me for Christophe Giacometti.”

“Ew,” Seunggil replies. “No thanks. He is way too...much. Anyway. I’m not leaving you anytime soon.”

“Anytime soon?”

“Anytime.”

JJ sighs deeply. He’s not crying anymore and he feels like maybe he can do this after all. Maybe it’ll be okay. “Will you watch the free skate?”

“Of course,” Seunggil replies. “I’ll be cheering you on as always.” How can his voice sound so stoic when he says words that warm JJ’s heart like this? It’s amazing.

“I’m thinking of coming to Korea after this,” JJ says, totally on a whim. He wants to see Seunggil. He really wants to see him.

“Wait til after Worlds,” Seunggil says, “and we can go on a vacation together.”

“Really?” JJ asks, perking up.

“Yes. On one condition.”

“Huh?”

“Skate tomorrow for yourself and nobody else. Have fun. Okay?”

“That’s the condition?”

“Yes.”

“Alright,” JJ laughs. “Cheer for me, then, Seunggil. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Have fun, JJ,” Seunggil replies, and they both hang up. JJ stands up, leaving the bathroom. A vacation with Seunggil. That sounds so nice.

If he’s being honest, he’s still worried about the free skate. But he feels like maybe he can do well just like Seunggil said. Maybe doing well doesn’t mean winning gold or even a medal at all. Maybe it means having fun and doing your best. A clean skate would be great. He wants to have fun on the ice, to remember what made him start skating in the first place. It wasn’t the promise of winning gold. It was the feeling of gliding across that frozen rink, feeling the ice chip when he digs the toe pick in right before a jump. It was the feeling of flying through the air and spinning as if gravity didn’t exist. That’s what JJ skated for. And that’s what he’s going to skate for.

He doesn't feel like he can rule the world again quite yet, but he feels like he’s going to have a pretty good time ruling his free skate, at the very least. And that’s what matters.

**Author's Note:**

> This is officially a series. I can't dump this OTP even if I try.
> 
> Find me on Twitter @unlockexie or Tumblr u/n zhoumimis.


End file.
